Are you prejudging others?

I am not a fan of protests. Lots of people marching or milling about. Chanting. Following 

the prompts of some person. 

Before you instantly respond with some comment to what I'm about to say, I want you to THINK about what you're thinking and feeling when you read my words.

Are you ready? Here I go:

I don't like protests. I have no intention of ever joining a protest to march around or mill about, chanting, holding signs or posters. And you're not likely to find me anywhere near the crowd of supporters who may line the streets.

So, what are you thinking about in response to my comments? How do they make you feel? Are you already formulating some response? Maybe with the intent to skip the rest of what I am about to write to express yourself, to tell me how I am wrong?

I know there are some who have instantly decided what they will or would tell me. I may be told how I'm prejudiced, or racist, biased, or even bigoted. I may be told that I'm not supportive.

If you fall into the category of someone who has already begun to form an opinion of me because of what I wrote, then you're already judging me. You are acting prejudiced (and maybe you're reacting by thinking "I am not" but please keep reading). You have not bothered to try to understand me and where I'm coming from. You have applied your own experience, knowledge, opinions, beliefs, expectations, etc. to judge me. You are judging me based on what you think I should think, say, or do. You are using your own perceptions to color your opinions of others. In short, just because I am not saying or doing what you think I should, you have become biased against me.

Before I attempt to help you understand my point of view, let's establish some common ground. The words "prejudice", "bias", and "racism" are too quickly thrown around and almost arbitrarily attributed meanings. So, let's get some official definitions.

 

Outside the practice of law, prejudice is defined by Oxford as:

Preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.

Dislike, hostility, or unjust behavior deriving from unfounded opinions.

https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/prejudice

Merriam-Webster defines it similarly as:

a. 1. preconceived judgment or opinion an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge

b: an instance of such judgment or opinion

c: an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prejudice

The word has its origins in Old French and Latin, praejudicium, where prae means "in advance" and judicium is "judgment."

Essentially prejudice means to pre-judge. You make a judgment based on your own opinions, knowledge, experience, preferences, desires, belief systems, etc. Your judgment is not based on sufficient knowledge or understanding of what you are passing judgment.

So, are you passing judgment on me based on your preconceived opinions and ideas without knowing or even trying to understand my side? Are you letting your own beliefs dictate how you respond to others?

Let's look at some other definitions.

Bias is "prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared to another, usually in a way considered to be unfair." As a verb, bias is to "cause to feel or show inclination or prejudice for or against someone or something." 

https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/bias

A bigot is "a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (such as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance."

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bigot

Now we get a big one that really needs to be better defined because too many people are attributing meanings to it that are not accurate: racism.

Oxford defines racism as 

Prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalize.

The belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another.

https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/racism

And Merriam-Webster defines racism as

1: a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race

2 a: a doctrine or political program based on the assumption of racism and designed to execute its principles

b: a political or social system founded on racism

3: racial prejudice or discrimination

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/racism

Where in the world do people get the idea that just because someone is white and hasn't experienced what many black people do in many parts of America, that the white person must be racist?

Where does being a racist include "white privilege" and anyone who has such privilege must be racist?

So are you ready for a little understanding?

I am an introvert and I dislike being in crowds. I avoid crowds whenever possible. That is the single biggest reason I wouldn't choose to participate in a protest or be in the crowds. I don't even like going to parades. I feel like my energy is sapped when I'm in a crowd.

To make matters more challenging, according to a personality test I took, my personality fits into one of the more rare groups of introverts.

As an introvert I have experienced prejudice against me, or we could say I've experienced negative bias towards my introversion. Certainly this is by no means the same racial prejudice, and I don't even pretend to compare it. I only bring it up because it is prejudice. Most of the prejudice I have received has been from extroverts who don't understand why I'm not interested in putting myself out there, to get to know or associate with complete strangers. Extroverts generally get energized by being around others. Most introverts don't. In the past I have been told that I come across as uninterested or acted like I was better than others. Of course, these comments are usually from extroverts who don't understand the fear and hesitation that I have. They don't understand how mentally and emotionally taxing it can be for me to be in big groups of people, and how drained I can feel afterwards. I have learned to enjoy giving presentations, but it still doesn't mean I'm not drained by it. And I still don't choose to put myself into a mass of people if I don't need to.

One on occasion when I served as a missionary, a person we visited accused me of not being interested and acting unapproachable because I had my arms folded. She may have been looking to get into some argument, but she didn't bother to find out my side. My arms were folded because I was cold and her house was cold. I have since been learning more about the importance of non-verbal communication.

But this was a great lesson. Too many people judge others based solely on what they perceive, on what they think they see and what they believe they understand. Too many people allow themselves to think, speak, and act in biased ways. They do not bother to even attempt to understand others, and they mistakenly believe others should think, speak, and/or be like them. 

Most people don't even realize they jump to conclusions--which is being prejudiced or biased--and they automatically assume what they think and believe is right. And many of them won't even consider another perspective if it rubs against their own thoughts, opinions, or beliefs. The irony is a lot of those people believe they are open-minded. Yet if they are faced with something that even slightly challenges their preconceptions, perceptions, opinions, or beliefs, they close their mind to it and call the offending idea prejudiced, biased, racist, or some other distasteful label so they can feel justified in rejecting it without due process of consideration and understanding.

While I have not experienced racial prejudice, as a missionary I certainly experienced some religious intolerance. Maybe not extreme bigotry, but definitely strong bias against my beliefs. 

I have not experienced any recent personal attacks on my beliefs--my missionary service was more than 20 years ago--but I have noticed increasing attacks against religious beliefs, specifically against those churches who continue to espouse traditional morals and values taught by God in the scriptures and who refuse to adopt modern socially accepted morals . If respect for others and differences does not increase, and divisions continue to widen and deepen, it is only a matter of a few short years before we will start seeing worse prejudice against certain religions. 

While racism is an issue, the real problem is culturism that promotes attitudes of prejudice. Police brutality is often the result of a bad culture within the department. Problems within a family, community, organization, race, creed, or other group are often the result of a culture in that group that needs to be changed. What does the culture value? What attitudes towards others does the culture promote, even if those are contrary to the stated beliefs of the group? For example, even though the doctrine of a church may teach that we should love and respect everyone, I know there are some members of churches who have fostered the culture, either within their families or local denominations, where their children are not allowed to play with children of a different faith. What other attitudes, beliefs, and values does the culture promote, even if it's contrary to what may be spoken? Does the culture promote living off the government? Entitlement? Broken families? Poor work ethic? Gang activity? Not placing an importance on education? Racism? Homophobia? Religious bigotry? Please note, none of these cultural issues are pointed at any particular group and there may be members of the group who do not share the same attitudes. As an example, the culture of racist attitudes may exist with a family, community, or organization but it doesn't mean everyone associated with the group is a racist, even though many people outside of the group want to make that judgment. 

As stated in the article "Locking arms for racial harmony in America" 

https://medium.com/@Ch_JesusChrist/locking-arms-for-racial-harmony-in-america-2f62180abf37 we need to: 

"Pray to God that the people of this land will heed the Divine call to abandon attitudes of prejudice against any group of God’s children."

"Look for ways to reach out and serve someone of a different background or race."

"Call on government, business, and educational leaders at every level to review processes, laws, and organizational attitudes regarding racism and root them out once and for all."

Teach our children, within the home by parents and family members and by teachers, to love all, find the good in others, value our differences, and treat others with respect and dignity.

I believe the real key to change, whether you're an extrovert and want to get out to protest what you perceive as injustices or you're an introvert and would rather use other methods to promote change, is within the family. Discrimination, hate, prejudice are all learned. Acceptance, respect, love are also learned. And the primary learning center should be the home, from the family. The strength and greatness of a nation lies within its people and whether they have a moral compass that guides them to distinguish what is right and wrong. The best place to teach and learn that moral compass is in the family. And the best source for a moral compass is from God and his Son, Jesus Christ. We are all brothers and sisters in God's family. We are all deserving of dignity, respect, and love as a brother or sister, as sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father.

It would not be easy or quick, but I believe a better, more thorough and lasting change can only happen if American returns to God and strengthens its families with the true principles taught by Christ, the basis of which are to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself.